Breaking Through the Barriers to Self-Expression & Exploring the Possibilities of Success

Gene Devine via Unsplash

I was wandering through a used bookstore in New York City one day when I came across an old title, Becoming a Writer. I was an idealistic college student, and this was what I longed to become. It was and remains what makes me feel most alive, most fully myself.

As I flipped through the book, two things struck me. First, Becoming a Writer by Dorothea Brande was published in 1934 and was still in print, which said something. Second, in the foreword to a later edition, novelist and literary critic John Gardner described how Brande tackled the “root problems” of becoming a writer.

“The root problems of the writer,” Gardner writes, “are personality problems: He or she cannot get started, or starts a story well then gets lost or loses heart, or writes very well some of the time badly the rest of the time …. The root problems, in other words, are problems of confidence, self-respect, and freedom.”

In other words, the root problem of fully expressing ourselves in the world—be it through creativity, parenting, or mission-driven leadership—is one of courage.

Putting your authentic voice out there in a culture that seems primed to criticize takes courage. It takes courage to talk with children about the significant issues of our day. And it takes courage to get “in the arena,” as Teddy Roosevelt said—and work to make some part of the world better.

Courage is also the solution or pathway to fully expressing ourselves in creativity, parenting, and mission-driven leadership. After all, courage— the ability to navigate fear, danger, and difficulty—is a muscle we can develop day by day, moment by moment.

So, what does putting courageous self-expression into action look like? In my workshops on both writing and leading with courage, I offer a simple but powerful three-point framework:

Three Steps to Courageous Self-Expression

1. Know the obstacles. In the case of writing, common obstacles include thinking, “I don’t have the time,” being caught up in perfectionism, or failing to set up the practical conditions needed for success.

In the case of mission-driven leadership, they can include other forms of self-doubt, such as: “Do I know enough?” “What if I’m wrong?” “What if we don’t succeed?”

“One does not become enlightened by imagining figures of light,” Carl Jung famously said, “but by making the darkness conscious.” That is why having the courage to name what is truly holding you back is courageous and wise.

2. Assess which obstacles have the greatest sway on you. There may be–and no doubt are–many challenges to self-expression in whatever your field of endeavor. However, not all obstacles are created equally or affect us similarly. 

To get to the root of things faster, ask yourself some pointed questions about them. I offer self-assessments to help with this process in my workshops. But here’s an example you could apply to whatever obstacle seems to tug at you: On a scale of 1-10, how accurate is the following statement to me: I sometimes wonder, ‘Who am I to take the lead, to put my thoughts out in the world, or whatever else you aim to do?’” 

If your response is low, try digging deeper to uncover where that story comes from (or, as Jung said, to make the “darkness consciousness.” 

3. Develop strategies to manage them. Of course, this is where the real, ongoing work of courageous self-expression begins. 

But here, I’ll leave you with one story. While reporting on a story about a protest against mountaintop removal coal mining in Kentucky once, I met the novelist and poet Wendell Berry. He had joined the protest dressed in a suit, with a toothbrush in his jacket pocket in case they were arrested and had to spend the night in prison. 

As I observed the protestors gathering to stage their sit-in in the governor’s office, I was dubious about their chances of success. In Kentucky, after all, coal is king. 

Then I approached Berry, by far the most notable individual in the group, and asked: “Do you think this is going to work?” 
“I don’t know if it will work, he answered. What I do know is that that is the wrong question. The right question is: Is it the right thing to do? I know it’s the right thing to do.”

He went on from there to gently lecture me about the problem of evaluating the odds of success before one commits to action–the problem is that it too often stops people from acting and finding out.